Them/They

Proudly embracing a new vocabulary

I’m at a loss
for the right thing to say
now that she
identifies 
as them/they.

It seems like yesterday 
she came into this world
a beautiful newborn baby girl
gasping for her first breath,
wailing that she's here.

Perfect fingers and toes,
thin searching lips,
tiny flailing arms, 
wrinkly bowlegs
and barely a wisp 
of black hair.

Mural in Dallas of Marsha P. Johnson & Sylvia Rivera memorializing their lifelong commitment to ending oppression for marginalized communities..

Yesterday 
to today, 
so much ground covered,
so many hand-in-hand walks
through the neighborhood,
to and from school,
Saturdays along the beach.

So many books read 
and memories created,
so many smiles and tears 
of joy, love, pain, 
disappointment, and confusion.
So much confusion.

Now a new clarity,
at least for her, 
settles in
providing a window 
into the depth of her
confliction and fear. 

She’s grown into 
a beautiful young woman, 
to me, 
a beautiful them/they
to her 
and her community.

I still wrestle 
with what to say
to my no longer
little girl
so grown and glowing. 

Them/they is proud,
and so am I!

Them/they is understanding 
but only so,
patient but just so, 
accepting occasional
misidentifications 
but with high expectations.  

My mind is aligning 
with this new vocabulary,
my tongue and lips 
forming words 
that don’t naturally fit, 
in my mind 
and to my ears,
that is.

My heart knows 
though 
and beats the same,
sending accepting
and loving signals
that land deeply,
I pray, 
in the heart 
of them/they.